Thursday, March 22, 2012

USA Job Interviews... What's The Difference??

Since graduating from University in London, I have gotten married, relocated and for the most part, been settled on biding my time here in the USA whilst I wait for my EAD (Employment Authorisation Document) to arrive. That left me with a 5 month gap with no choice but to stay home (lack of a second car for a few months helped that happen!) and volunteer in order to pass the time. My husband and I have no children and a small 2 bedroom home that I can only tend to so often before there is nothing left to clean. I am not good at being idle. I need projects and daily goals in order to maintain my SANITY.

So once I gained my EAD (about 2 months ago) you can imagine how out of the loop I felt from the working world. Despite my continuous volunteering and the near obsessive reworking of my Resume (CV) throughout my waiting period, I still had to find a way to adjust back into a 'young professional' mentality. Job interviews can be scary at the best of times; whether you are overtly interested in the position or not the idea of meeting with a stranger to discuss your personal achievements and goals and have them judge you worthy (or not) on those things, can bring about a sensation not unlike that of a fish out of water.  

Image: job-interviewtips.com

However I would like to reassure anyone who may have just relocated to the US and is in the beginning stages of job hunting... Don't be afraid! My experience so far has been full of friendliness, supportiveness and understanding. I have enjoyed every single interview, learned SO MUCH from them all regardless of jobs offered or not and my professional confidence is beginning to grow. Not that UK interviews are hell on earth, but from my own personal experience I feel as though I have been treated with great respect my potential employers here in the USA. I kind of suspect some of that has to do with the overtly positive American approach to just about everything.

Below you will find some of the main tips and tricks I've noted so far regarding my American (Side Note* I interviewed around Tennessee) job interview experience. 
  • Personality & Approachability - These go a LONG way here. I am yet to be interviewed by a hiring manager, store manager or HR Executive that does not appreciate a certain level of low key, polite banter and a sharp willingness to talk realistically. 
  • Honesty & Openness - I have been asked more personal, probing question on this side of the pond during job interviews, than I think I have by my family doctor back in the UK. Let me clarify though - this is an awesome way to be interviewed in my opinion! I cannot tell you how quickly my interviewee nerves dissipate once someone shows their interest in my personal story as well as my professional history - the invitation to be myself during each interview scenario helped me feel supported and more in control of the situation, as well as encouraged to ask more probing questions back to my potential employers!
  • Preparation - This was key for me. I did experience a lot of the same questions being recycled, as well as a few 'wacky wild cards' which got me thinking outside the box and considering my skills and potential even after the interview was over. I listed fairly typical interview questions before I went, answered them in bullet points and revised them before the interview. I made sure that I was equipped with a variety of scenarios from my working past, ready to draw on examples in a confident and succinct way once asked. 
  • Thank You Notes - Over here is seems to be customary to follow up an interview with a thank you card (some say hand written is best, some email, it just depends on the industry and the person I guess). I personally had not done this before but have definitely enjoyed going that extra mile in showing my enthusiasm for a position after the interview has ended.

Typical Interviews Questions I Have Been Asked So Far:

So you're not from here? Tell me about yourself and what brought you to this part of the world?

Do you miss home much? (i.e. are you likely to stick this out!?)

Tell me about a time when you had to work with someone you really disliked? (A tough one to answer positively!)

How did you and your US fiance/husband meet? (I have been asked this at every interview I think - apparently they like to know!)

And Some 'Wild Card' Examples:

If you had a never ending supply of lego bricks, what would you build and why?

Would you be comfortable singing for us? (Yes I did sing, yes it was nerve wracking!)

Tell me about your own spiritual journey? 


Best of luck to you all! 





Saturday, March 17, 2012

Further Education in the USA... Translating Degrees, Passing Exams and Saving $$

Continuing your education tends to be a costly and time consuming endeavour nowadays, no matter where you shop around for courses. Over here in the USA though, the fact that each school can charge tuition rates as whatever value they deem suitable can be a bit of a shock. This is especially true for those of us who gained our undergrad or even our A-Levels in the UK, where one standard rate applies regardless of subject or school choice. Bid so long to the free/flat rate education system and say hello to shopping around, not only for the best course outlines but also for the best prices!

For me, the hope of gaining my Masters degree marks my next educational goal. After completing my undergrad at a Drama School in London, I am faced with translating those credentials, succeeding with the new and far more complex procedure of applying to individual schools (I miss UCAS already!) and passing the GRE (Revised General Test for Grad School applicants) to gain acceptance. So here are my own questions, from back when I started this process:
  • What about Higher Education and University qualifications? Do you get them translated before, after or during the application process? How much does that cost? Where do you start?
  • How do I start the application procedures? Who do I speak to? Am I in-state or out-of-state?
  • What's the GRE and how do I pass it?

Image: peerprograms.ubc

TRANSLATING When is comes to translating your existing credentials my advice to you would be to contact all the schools that you have attended and graduated from (including secondary school!) and request full, notarised transcripts, or a term by term breakdown, for the courses that you took. These are useful for both further education and potential employers alike and are usually free. Some US schools will require these transcripts to be mailed directly to them in a sealed envelope from your old educational institutions, so be sure to verify each school's needs through their admissions office. Below are some TN-State recommended evaluation companies, that I think are worth a look if you plan to get your degree translated (the costs tend to fluctuate from between $150-$300 depending on the depth of the translation that you need!)




INDIVIDUAL APPLICATIONS Each US school has different needs and wants from it's applicants. Even 'State' schools have requirements unique to them that you must meet in order to be considered. From my experience (especially when coming from the land of one-stop-Uni-shop UCAS) these applications be a little overwhelming and a lot time consuming. I have come across requests such as subject relevant entrance essays, sealed transcripts, GRE passes at specific grades (for grad students), online quizzes, work experience criteria and many more, all ever changing depending on where you apply. 

My breakthrough came when I realised that rather than being bogged down by all these requirements, I could use them to let my individuality shine through. Specifically, choosing to contact admissions, prospective student services AND the head professor of each course I was considering over the phone was a massive help! Each subject area in a school tends to have it's own 'sub' requirements (ahhh the plot thickens!) so defining those details and working out what your own circumstances dictatebecomes much easier when the course leader is clarifying it for you! Also worth noting is the concept of 'in-state' status - for example, if you have married someone from your new home state who has been living there for over a year then (depending on schools) you can qualify for the same status with your Green Card App. NOA. This means MASSIVE drops in tuition costs! I would recommend that you get in touch with the Financial Office at each prospective school for quotes and guidelines before you apply. Remember you are not an international student anymore, so don't pay like one!

THE GRE This is a 'generalised' exam, taken by those who wish to enter into a taught post-grad course such as a Masters degree. It hits the basics of what students here in the US learn in high school and can be taken as either a computer-based or paper-based test within a local testing facility. There are 3 main sections to the GRE; Verbal Reasoning, Quantitative Reasoning and Analytical Writing. Each measures your ability to comprehend and make use of English, Mathematical and Analytical skills and each section was miles away from anything that I had done in a long time (well except for the Analytical Writing section which was pretty much covered in my undergrad essay requirements). 

Image: library.wheelock

There are plenty of revision resources out there which are extremely helpful. Oh and get ready to meet old friends like fractions, decimal points, analogies and quadratic equations - I know you've probably missed them dearly. Expect to pay $160 for the test itself and to fork over a little more for the results to be administered to the schools of your choice. 


What About Student Loans?

Glad you asked! When I left the UK I also left behind a mass of unpaid student loans. There are folks out there that will point out how hard it is for the Student Loans Company in the UK to find you now that you have relocated, and for the most part they are right (although never underestimate their tracking abilities!). I personally (and I know I am far from alone is this) could never walk away from a responsibility as large as that, so here is what I did to carry my legal repayment obligations over to the USA:

1. I contacted the SLC (Student Loans Company) BEFORE I left the UK, letting them know of my plans, my new address in the USA and how long approximately it would take me to qualify for and find work. I did this by letter and kept a copy of all responses for my records. There is an online form for moving abroad on their website - include a completed copy and save one for yourself! 

2. SLC were very gracious and gave me a full year to establish myself in the States and to find steady work before they would even contact me again, let alone pursue repayment. See, nothing to be scared of! As soon as I have all my ducks in a row I will contact them and set up a direct debit from the USA. Easy peasy! Sadly I may lose a little with the exchange rate but compromises like that come with the territory! 

Image: blogofasia


If you have any more in-depth questions about UK student loan repayment or anything else mentioned in this article, please don't hesitate to pop it in the comment box below and I will answer it as best I can! 



Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Job Hunting In A New Terrain...Patience Is A Virtue

It's fair to say, that when it comes to the process of visa applications, jumping through governmental hoops, relocating to a new and different country and even embarking on a brand new marriage, well these are all challenges beyond what most of us are accustomed too. What they don't tell you on the application forms however, is that once you are stateside and have been issued with the infamous, precious EAD (Employment Authorisation Document), that's when the real hard work, stresses and emotional strains begin.

Image: NanoPatentsandInnovations

The process of networking, transferring credentials and ultimately landing that 'dream' job here in the States, can certainly be an exhaustive one.

  • Who do you use as references when everyone who can account for your strong work ethic is back in your home country (and let's face it, companies don't exactly prefer calling long distance or facing language barriers to verify your credentials!)
  • How do you face the over qualified/under qualified conundrum without those references or locals who can account for you?

In my experience (and I am at this time still a job hunter, but have landed a few P/T and seasonal offers plus a few interviews to boot), this is stress inducing and at times truly disheartening BUT not impossible by any means! Now I did have a small advantage when I moved over here, in the form of previous paid employment and unpaid internship experience in the USA (namely Summer Camp and a University placement I did in my third year, here in Knoxville) so I mustered up a few old friends to count as my US professional references. This is something however that anyone can acquire. In total I spent 6 months being paid in the USA and 6 months working for free, in order to gain this experience. If you're finding yourself in need of a 'way in' then volunteering or interning is an excellent starting point to getting your foot in the door.

Now, I understand that not everyone has the time or the financial resources to be able to offer their time for free. While you are waiting those 3-4 months for your EAD to be approved however, you may find this a great time to give unpaid work experience a go and make some local contacts on the way. I will admit that during this time I got stuck into everything I could, both to network and to keep my boredom at bay. For me volunteering at my Church and with local charities gave me the boost of confidence I needed and let potential hirers know I was looking. I was very vocal about my immigration status and my looming job hunt and this paid of for me. I have actually gotten 2 (dream job!) interviews so far on the back of local volunteering and I know that my name has been circulating.

Image: gethiredbootcamp.com

My advice for standing out whilst volunteering? Approach the people in charge, let them know your skills and offer them your help including in areas where you have trained. For me this meant doing some extra Admin work for a charity in my spare time. I never dreamed it would invoke a job interview 3 months down the line, but I was remembered and it did. Plus I got to hone my skills Stateside, added to my resume and gained another US referee! Be genuine and sincere with your time though, if you are serving with a charity do it because you are blessed with the time to spare and simply trust that your work ethic and your approachability will allow you to shine to those who need to see it!

I hate to say it but now is the time to be prepared to take work that is under your skill set. Sometimes relocation means starting again in our careers, as well as in our personal lives and although (thankfully!) this is not the case for everyone, for many it truly is. Take a step back and reassess your skills, your professional joys and your passions. This may be the time to take a leap into something new or to reignite your love for the profession you entered into.

Later on I will talk a bit about transferring University qualifications but until then best of luck to all you job hunters! Go get 'em!


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Pre-Marital Preparation... Miles Apart But Growing Closer!

During our long distance engagement, my now husband and I struggled to find 'projects' that we could both be involved in despite our separation. Goals that we could share and ways in which we could learn about one another and appreciate our differences and our similarities.We found that the concept of marriage preparation helped us to achieve these things! It helped keep our eyes on the prize and we felt that we were still working towards a common goal, with a truly shared destination in front of us. For us it was an invaluable method of growth, through which we were reassured and ultimately better prepared for our combined future together, far away from my homeland.

So what can you do to grow together even when you are miles apart and communication is at best limited? There are, after all, so many couples nowadays approaching the aisle under the stress of distance. Without the luxury of attending pre-marital counselling or weekend seminars together (as many do) there are still some great options to get yourselves ready! Here are some resources that we actually used, completing studies and questions sometimes together over Skype, but more often alone,  followed up by in depth sharing and meaningful dialogue. I would suggest a 'marriage project' such as those listed below to anyone. For me it increased my confidence in our compatibility, in his capacity to care for me once I made the big move and in our ability to problem solve and show compassion as a couple.

Just a few little suggestions!... Resources:

'Getting Ready For Marriage Workbook' - We used this book purely as an instrument to get us going with important conversations we knew we needed to have before saying 'I Do'. The different sections facilitated talks about finances, religion, children, family, health, sex and many more. Accompanied with a quiz in each subject area this is a nice starter tool to identify the major similarities and differences you have and begin to resolve them.

'iMarriage' by Andy Stanley - This is a study that I did myself and then later shared with my fiance. It presents itself in six 'sessions' and teaches Christian based lessons on marital expectations, the roles of husbands and wives while delving into the theology of a marriage based around and including God. Obviously this one is aimed toward Christian couples but we found it really enlightening and the style of writing was easygoing and succinct. This study raised a lot of questions for us both, as individuals and as a couple. Very inspiring. Likewise, 'Staying In Love' also by Andy Stanley is a great follow up resource, full of thought provoking ideas about what we each bring to our marriages.

'Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman - This book a a fascinating must read! With great insight into how we all need to be loved, this is a great resource to help you both explore what you need everyday just to sense affection. Whether it's gifts, physical contact, moral support or daily thank you's, this book will help identify what you each relate to and will explain how to adapt your behaviour to give AND get the most our of your relationship. This lives on our bedroom bookshelf all the time!



There are so many websites, books, DVD's and workshops out there on the subject of marriage preparation. The suggestions I have included are limited because they are what we ourselves have used, as opposed to ones I could gather from an internet search. Look around and have an idea what you want to learn about each other. Happy sharing folks!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

5 Unique Honeymoon Destinations... Right Here On The US Mainland!

For my husband and I, our honeymoon decision came with some rather strict guidelines; I could not leave the US mainland (yes even to go to Hawaii, just incase my flight got rerouted to Canada!) because should I leave, I would not be permitted entry back into the USA. Which I am sure you can appreciate is not the ideal newlywed situation. My K1 Visa regulations were crystal clear and so our thinking caps went on!

Where could we venture to within the US mainland, that would offer us the sensation of being abroad. We needed a destination that would be unforgettable, completely out of the ordinary and most importantly, that was romantic beyond compare. After 6 months apart and freshly shared vows, this was our chance to really stop and smell the roses. To appreciate how far we had come and happy we were. We knew it had to be good.

Well, it turns out that there are rather a lot of amazingly unique honeymoon experiences to be had, a lot closer to hand than we first realized. Below we have shared our own honeymoon shortlist... I hope they WOW you too!

Paws Up Resort -  This Montana resort brings rustic charm and luxury together in an ever popular movement known as 'glamping' (glam+camping!). This is certainly a new twist on 'roughing it', but if you love nature this is a great way to be a part of it without compromising the usual newlywed luxuries. With stunning charm, five star service and breathtaking views (quite literally on your doorstep), this is certainly a romantic adventure you'll never forget.

Paws Up Resort, Montana

Little Palm Island -  Located in Little Torch Key in sunny Florida, this private island resort prides itself on sheltering it's guests from the outside world. As a result you won't find telephones or televisions inside it's suites and guest access to WiFi is limited to the Great Room. Granted for some this might sound like a nightmare but for many others this is the perfect, uninterrupted island escape.

Little Palm Island, Florida

Jekyll Island Club Hotel -  A masterpiece of old world charm, this hotel is dripping in privilege, history and romance. With many adventures to be had on the island itself; hiking, horse trails, numerous beachfront restaurants and carriage rides to name just a few, this is a vacation spot built upon natural beauty and southern elegance. If history is your thing, check this out.

Jekyll Island Club Hotel, Georgia

Cheeca Lodge and Spa -  Located in Islamorada, close to the Florida Keys, this historic lodge is a self proclaimed 'lush oceanfront retreat'. Known for it's hospitality, tropical seclusion and world-class fishing this is a resort where the luxuries come fast and on mass. With elegant touches such as ocean view soaking tubs, this is a prime destination for honeymooners who like things to be just a little unique.

Cheeca Lodge and Spa, Florida

Devil's Thumb Ranch, Resort and Spa - A perfect combination of rustic romance and relaxation, this Colorado resort offers unforgettable views and endless activities to keep you smiling. With recreational options such as; horse riding, snowmobiling, rafting, kayaking and mountain biking, boredom is not an option at this ranch. Partner that with a rustic tavern, fireplace seating and warm hospitality and you've got a recipe for recovery and relaxation after each and every thrilling adventure.

Devil's Thumb Ranch, Colorado

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Home Comforts... Get Your British Treat Fix!

If you're anything like me, then you worked hard to get your fill of fish and chips before you set sail for the States. Knowing that they would be a rarity from now on gave me a fine excuse and certainly made them taste extra special each and every week that I indulged (seriously). However, now that I am stateside I find myself fooled often by 'Cadburys' Dairy Milk bars, Creme Eggs and Fruit n Nut's, all sporting a teeny tiny little disclaimer on the back revealing their true identity... made by Hersheys! Rats, foiled again! I do not care for Hersheys chocolate and I daresay it is not a taste I am willing to develop over time. Give me Nestle or Mars any day.


When it comes to getting the genuine thing, you have to be prepared to either pay an arm and a leg in shipping costs, or pay an exorbitant amount upfront just for purchasing it from inside the USA.

Inside the States you can visit local grocery stores such as Kroger, which usually have a limited yet existent 'World Foods' aisle. These tend to stock the stereotypical British favorites including teabags, Birdseye custard, Bisto gravy granuals and an Aero bar or two (at least here in Knoxville). However if it's something a little more specific that you are after, namely your Curly Wurly's, Buttons and Dip Dabs, well then you are going to have to look further afield.

Costs online range from 99cents per bar of chocolate (Crunchie, Boost, Giant Buttons) to $1.99 per bar depending on which site you choose to shop with. You can find all kinds of items online ready for purchase and shipping such as; Bass Shandy, Twiglets, Jammie Dodgers, Wagon Wheels, Mini Rolls, PG Tips, Yorkshire Tea, Roses... hungry yet? Phew!

I have researched many options, their shipping costs and their overall value for money and surprisingly Amazon.com is right up there with the leaders. The shipping costs remain low and the asking prices reasonable for overseas demand. The only drawback is that the quantities tend to stay in the bulk range and whilst 48 Cadbury's Creme Eggs may be bargain at $50.00 not everyone wants to fork that much over at once (but if you do I don't judge you - they are fabulous!).

Below are the top three UK food shipment sites that I recommend (ranked on price and availability):

British Food Shop

British Cornershop

British Food Depot


Sidenote: I recently had my very generous Mum ship me over some, ahem, essentials from the UK. This lot (pictured above) cost her around 20.00 British pounds to ship, plus a similar amount to purchase in store in the UK (mostly at Morrisons). Hopefully that can provide some perspective into the typical value of this overseas food market. Happy chomping!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Moving To The USA... Things to pack & things to forget!

One of the most confusing things about relocating to a new country, is the challenge of knowing what to bring with you and what to part with permanently. Emotionally this is a tough one. Everything's changing and you're leaving so much behind already. So what gets sacrificed and what makes the cut?

Image: widowsphere

Clothing - Remember that rule that says that if you haven't worn something in 6 months you should get rid of it? Do it! My advice would be to collect those staple items that you integrate into your everyday, all time fave wardrobe and lose the rest. Vacuum sealed 'space bags' are great for compressing a large amount of clothes into a small space and are often reusable too if you are careful. My main issue with making clothing choices came from the fact that my 'style' was so influenced by the UK trends/London stores and upon moving to the south... well the styles didn't quite match up. Basically I took enough to last me, items that would let me continue to dress how I do and every time I visit the UK now, I leave space in my suitcase to reinvest in new threads! Great excuse to go clothes shopping right?

Books & DVD's - Books for me was a tough one. I love my book collection, full of old dusty out of prints and even some first editions. Sadly books are some of the heaviest items, so selectivity was ruler over this decision and I had to learn to live without for a while. In several Tennessee locations we have a great store called McKays http://mckaybooks.com/ which is essentially a glorified warehouse full of used books, cds and dvds. Everything is priced cheaply and it's a prime resource for restarting a lost collection! Look out for similar stores in your area. DVD's sometimes pose an issue since the US region and UK region differ - I brought my whole collection in a CD folder (to save space and weight) and we forked out for a multi-regional player so they didn't go to waste.

Mementos & Childhood Items - The hardest to walk about from by far. I was ultimately blessed in the way of my Mum allowing me to commandeer a section of her attic for such treasures. I got creative with a few items though such as baby blankets, childhood award badges and photos. When it came to fabric items that held importance for me, I clipped out sections (light for travel) of writing or pattern, and have stored these small patches in the US, ready to turn into a memory quilt. Childhood awards badges (Girl Scouts, horse riding etc.) were collected and stitched onto a central panel of the quilt for display. My photo collection was carefully narrowed down (and tough choices made!). Those that made the cut were stored in a single, small photo box as opposed to bulky albums, or shared with family and friends who might appreciate the memories too. 

Items For The Future - Sadly now is the not the time to be thinking ahead in terms of material possessions. I was so tempted (especially during the excited/lonely ramp up to starting my new life) to collect items that I envisioned in our new home, especially when they were in sales and I unquestionably loved them. I learnt quickly though that everything I bought and packed, shoved out something I already loved and owned. So sacrifices had to be made!

Official Documents - Definitely one to think about. Before leaving the UK I was pretty vigilant with contacting all my prior educational institutions and requesting notarized copies of my 'transcripts' (lists of each subject/project I studied, grades and comments etc.) so I would be prepared with something more than just my word, when applying for work in the USA. It goes without saying that all your collected documentation from the Visa process so far should accompany you (preferably after making copies and sitting beside you in your hand luggage). If you can, request medical history print outs from your GP, dentist and optician (especially if you have had any complications of significant work done in the past!). Sometimes they charge but sometimes when they hear you are packing up and heading out the NHS can be quite obliging! I also took some time contacting work colleagues and University tutors to gather up some references - these have proved hand so far in my job search! 

Ways To Downsize Your Relocation Load:

Car Boot Sales/Yard Sales - A flexible way to make some fast cash and move stuff quickly. I would recommend organized second hand sales events, for the simple reason that they pull in the crowds and people arrive driven to buy. You can find times and locations in your local paper. Be ready to reduce your prices at the end of the morning though if your main goal is to shift things! 

Ebay - A great source most of us are familiar with, www.ebay.com or www.ebay.co.uk is suitable for those specialized or higher worth technological items. Make sure you leave yourself sufficient time to end bidding and post your items before your relocation. Also watch out for advertised weekends that encourage free listing - nothing to lose! 

Image: iamstaggered.com

Gifts - Happy memories of an item? See if you can share it with those close to you... one man's trash is another man's treasure and all that! Otherwise you can always donate what you can afford to part with and potentially make someone's day.

Memory Boxes - A great way to set a goal for yourself to reduce down your items of choice. I personally bought a lovely shoe sized keepsake box that fit into a corner of my suitcase, and filled it with small personal items (concert tickets, letters, cards) that I could not bare to part with. I've been saving 'memories' like these since my childhood so I was relieved to find a condensed way to leave nothing behind.

Remember: The basics can always be bought again. The USA has access to so many brands that we in the UK are familiar with, that there really is no need to panic. Just take care of those items that are irreplaceable to you and accept that the rest will come in time, once finances allow. You may even find you rather enjoy all the shopping that follows!


Destination Wedding Checklist... Keeping It Simple From Miles Away

How many guests?... Get calling those potential host hotels and inquiring about reduced rates for booking out the entire guest availability (if it's a smaller establishment). If it's a larger building, how about reduced rates at the in-house restaurant the night before the big day? There is often wiggle room when a large booking is involved.

Ready to commit... Most popular vendors, especially in areas that are familiar with the destination wedding market, book up WAY in advance. Make sure you start your research early, know what you want and are prepared to commit once you find it.

Access to features... Be sure to do your homework on weekday AND weekend accessibility to your florist, make up artist, hair stylist, dry cleaning facility, caterer, entertainment... everyone you need, to get your big day off without a hitch! There are certain circumstances such as with island escapes, where even though they are attached to the mainland via road, there may be a cost incurred each time the bridge is traveled or there may be certain hours and parking permits involved that were otherwise unforeseen!

Image: weddingrugs.com

Public festivals and local celebrations... Check local websites on the area to make sure your big day isn't going to be clashing with the town's own big day! Even if there is a day or two between events, make sure you aren't going to be faced with someone else's clean up duty or a traffic aftermath.

Local vendors... Review sites like  www.weddingwire.com and www.weddingbee.com are a great way to get started on narrowing down the possibilities on wedding vendors at your destination and offer customer reviews as well as professional links and portfolio examples. Also worth exploring are local awards and online news articles from the last year or so, regarding vendors that you are considering. A fab way to get the down low, from the people who know!

Check local restrictions... Whether your intended matrimonial scene be set with freeze dried petals, flickering candles or biodegradable confetti; if it's going to be outside or close to public property check what's considered legal ahead of time. Rarely are exceptions made, so avoid unnecessary havoc and know your rights!

Image: BevsBookBeat

Combine and save... Presumably you are already interested in what the area has to offer and that's why you've chosen it to be the site of a lifelong commitment! Advantages of remaining around your chosen destination for your honeymoon are plentiful; opportunities for extended stay discounts at hotels in the area, less travel time and expenses and not to mention the upgrades you could enable yourselves to afford due to staying put! If you like the lavish in life and don't care to move around too much, this is definitely an option to consider.

Know the area... Once you arrive at the your destination, a test drive is a great idea to fill you in on routes and potential hold ups on your way to your vendors & ceremony site. We didn't realize until we arrived at our own site that we would have to pay each time we crossed the bridge to our secluded island hotel, so gathering up that information in advance is a definite stress busting plus!



Saturday, March 3, 2012

Long Distance Relationships... Tips for hanging out and hanging on!

When you are in a long distance relationship, whether by choice or by necessity, there are certain obstacles you are forced to overcome. The best way to tackle these bumps in the road is by getting creative and getting personal.

 Whether you are 2 hours apart or 2 days, gone for 6 months or for 6 years, we all reach that point where it suddenly seems much harder now than it did on paper. Even with all the rapidly advancing technology in the world, there are some days when all you need is your better half's hand to hold (and even Apple hasn't figured that one out yet). But what built your relationship up to where it is now? I'm sure that it is made up of many joint experiences, mutual compassion, understanding and insight, friendship and the sharing of every detail of your intertwined lives. Yet I dare say as you stand facing a challenge such as distance, that it's also made up of durability, fortitude, determination and promise. The challenges of growing together whilst remaining apart are huge but valuable.

Image: davidwygant.com

 Focus on communication for example; if you simply can't call 3 times a day to declare your love how can you share it anyway? When your days seem longer than usual and communication is getting more and more scarce, how can your energy still go into that other person? How can you ensure that they are not alone, even when technically, they are?

Here are some simple things that worked well for my now husband and I when I was bound for 5 months in the UK, awaiting my fiance visa approval:

Snail Mail - sharing letters in longhand has at least 2 benefits; they're romantic and can be kept as mementos of your courtship, and they make great evidence for your ongoing visa applications. I know that can seem a little degrading to your long distance struggle but every little bit helps!

Care Packages - we enjoyed shipping over each other's favorite treats from our own countries, just to make each other smile and to remind us what we like so much about each others, ahem, culture... We rarely synced up our dates so each parcel was a pleasant and much appreciated surprise.

Skype - an obvious one for us prepared long distancers, but downloading this program to each person's laptop or handheld device allows you free face time, as much as you like. A staple if you can get it to help you stay personal and regular with your chats.

Church - one of the things my then fiance and I love to do is attend our rockin' church www.faithpromise.org on Sunday mornings together. Thanks to the beauty of the internet our church streams it's weekly worship and message online for anyone to be a part of. We chose a service time; he attended in person whilst I watched online and then we had a phone date afterwards to chat about what we had learnt. This weekly commitment kept us stable, focused on the bigger picture and helped the weekly countdown to move just a little faster in our minds!

Super Positive Countdown Chart! - For 5 months straight the back of my childhood bedroom door was plastered with a GIANT breakdown of things to achieve each week that we were apart, plus things to look forward to in the near future. I even budgeted myself to buying one 'wedding' item each week as a reward for charging through another 7 days! Working out the average time span of each section of the visa process was a useful addition as well, just to give me perspective on how quickly we were actually coming along!

Time crawls when you have anything impressive to look forward to. Moving to the US to get married pretty much halted it altogether for me. Added to that the 4,000 mile distance between me and the only other person on the planet who truly knew what I was feeling, and it became an emotionally trying 5 months at best. But the big picture won out in the end, we faced the gauntlet of uncertainty and insecurity and out reward has been wonderful beyond measure. Use this time apart to connect in ways other couples who have it fairly easy may not. Learn how to say 'I Love You' in hundreds of different ways and hold on to that excitement at the promise of one another.

It's more rare than you think.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Destination Wedding... Hair and Make Up For The DIY Bride!

On the morning of our wedding my husband-to-be and I rose early, toasted the day with a glass of bubbly and split off into our own respective bathrooms to prepare for the day ahead. As you can imagine I'm sure, he was done and dusted in 10 minutes or less, already having a hearty breakfast and refilling his champagne flute. I on the other hand, spent an exhausting 3 hours in front of the mirror, multitasking with breakfast and teasing my hair within an inch of it's life, in an effort to look 'natural'.

I imagine that a  fair amount of brides out there would prefer not to have to take sole responsibility for the outcome of their wedding day hair and make up, yet I didn't feel comfortable any other way. Since we had opted for a destination wedding (for which we had only arrived in the area for, the day beforehand), I had no opportunities for hair or make up trials. I wasn't about to trust a total stranger with my beauty regime on the most important day of my life. So, I began to research looks I liked, products that would naturally enhance me despite the humid climate, foundations that would work well under the bright lights of flash photography and hairstyles that looked classic and feminine while being a cinch to achieve alone on front of the mirror. And then I practiced like a madwoman. Here is the outcome (although I appreciate that the make up is a little harder to get a good look at - sorry about that!)...




Below you will find a list of the products that I tested, researched and used on the day, all of which worked best for me in a hot climate, with flash photography and frankly with my far from perfect skin. I went with a sweeping up-do that had plenty of volume and romance to it and opted for a clip with 3 fresh flowers attached to it (thanks to a very accommodating florist - link at the bottom). It held in the wind, was informal and yet still detailed enough for me not to feel like it was just any old up-do and best of all, I did it all by myself and had fun whilst tackling it! 

Products I Used To Create My Wedding Day Look:

Estee Lauder  - Idealist Primer (I LOVE this stuff for
                        evening out my complexion!)
                      - Double Wear Light Foundation, 
                        in shade 2.0
                      - Double Wear Stay-In-Place Flawless 
                        Wear Concealer, in shade 2.0
                      - Ideal Light Brush On Illuminator, in 
                        shade Light

No7               - Natural Blush, in shade 10 Soft 
                        Damson

Bourjois       - Eyeshadow in shades; 08, 54 and 
                       93
                    - Lipstick, in shade Sweet Kiss 
                       Natural 11 (I chose to pop on 
                       a touch of Burts Bee's Lip      
                       Balm to add shine and avoid the 
                       wind/sand/my hair ending up, 
                       unattractively tangled                 
                       upon my lips mid vows!)

Elf               - Cream Eyeshadow, in shade Coffee

Barry M      - Clear Mascara and Eyebrow 
                      Definer

Maybelline  - The Colossal Volume Mascara, 
                       in shade Glam Black

*As well as these I added a pair of plain old drugstore false eyelashes for natural volume that would show up on camera (I find the no name ones easier to shape for some reason)...

And that was that. I practiced a time or two before the big day but otherwise I was confident that I knew what suited me and how to highlight my best features, which really is what traditional bridal make up is all about! 

Any questions, please pop them in the comments section below and I'll do my best to answer them for you!





The US Driving Test... What You Need To Know!

One of the many joys and challenges of moving to a new country, is having to redo some of the little everyday things you have already forgotten existed... Opening bank accounts, rerouting mail, finding a doctor in your area and retaking your driving exam. I myself, was not thrilled to revisit the last one.

My first go around with a driving test is still a bit of a blur of 3 point turns, parallel parking, roundabouts and reversing around corners... due to this I was not keen to relive the pressure of making those kinds of maneuvers accurately, as is required in the UK. My first trip to the DMV here in Knoxville, was during the first week that I entered the US on my K1 Visa and since my husband and I planned on a road trip honeymoon, I wanted to make sure I knew exactly where I stood in terms of legally driving. I was assured on multiple occasions that I had a full 6 months during which I could legally drive in the US on my international license (just my regular old UK one) and then after that it would become void. I inquired a little further thinking it was going to be a fairly simple transfer of information and BOOM a shiny new Tennessee driving license would be whipped up but evidently that is not the way it works. On the same day I visited for information I was able to take my 'Theory' driving exam for a total cost of... wait for it UK folks... $2.00! For those of us who have had to pay and repay a staggering 31.00 British Pounds a pop, that is indeed a fair price, thank you very much.

I was able to cram in less than 15 minutes and pass the theory portion (although I wouldn't recommend that unless you are very comfortable with all the rules unique to the US), book my practical for a week later and I was off, ready to practice and panic just a little. On the day of the Practical Driver's Exam, I arrived ready to test in my own car (nice touch) and had a very chatty, very laid back lady take me down one street, circle a residential area and straight on back to the DMV. That was it. On the way she mentioned to me all the times she had to drive people back to the building herself because they were too unsafe to finish the test. Meanwhile I continued to ignore her and chant 'right side of the road, right side of the road' over and over again in my head.

The tests themselves were very straightforward and painless and took up next to no time and dollar. I earned myself a very fetching new photo ID and was told that this would last me a total of... 30 days. Sigh. I was to return to the DMV before 6 months and once I had either my EAD card OR my Green Card (fat chance!) to renew. If they tell you they can renew for you with your Employment Authorization NOA, in my experience they are befuddled and should not be taken at their word. Many a time did I return after instruction to do so, only to be told to wait for the next piece of USCIS proof to come through the mail. If it is within your time limit (and the 6 months should cover that) my advice is to hold out for your EAD card and save yourself some hassle. I finally have a new temporary Tennessee license that will see me through for another year until my Green Card arrives. Now all I have to do is remember 'right side of the road, right side of the road...'



This post is reflective of my experience with a local DMV here in Knox County of East Tennessee. There can be fluctuations to the license requirements for each individual State, so remember to give 'em a call and check your facts wherever you are.

Beating The Homesick, Boredom Blues...

It's been said that alongside getting married and having your first child, relocating to a different country is one of the biggest adventures a person can face. I'll account for that. When we first got engaged my husband and I threw around a few ideas about where we wanted to set up house; London, North Yorkshire or Tennessee. Now each has it's benefits and with an equal amount of family and close friends in either country, for a while there we were tied. After weighing up our pros and cons though we ultimately decided that the US had more to offer us during this particular stage of our lives; cheaper housing, more frequent and varied job opportunities and more options for varied travel within the country. Once we settled on our choice of homeland we were able to familiarize ourselves with the immigration system and where, when and how we needed to marry in order to meet all the requirements. We married on a beach in Georgia, just the two of us (but with heavy family involvement) and off we went on our road trip honeymoon! We were set. 

Fast forward 5 months and in my opinion I have acclimated rather nicely to my new slower paced, rocking chair on the porch kinda lifestyle, here in east Tennessee. The only drawback that I can tell so far is that along with the hoopla of various visa applications, is the waiting period for an EAD (the document that allows you to legally work in the States). Well, that and the fact that no where seems to have a decent imitation of Yorkshire fish and chips. Even if you're like me and prefer to idle along in the slow lane of life, this is a pace that can proof challenging and at times pretty disheartening after a while. I received my precious EAD last month and have since launched myself full pelt and brimming with enthusiasm into the world of job hunting, yet I am still technically residing in the no-mans-land of temporary (here's hoping!) unemployment. And I am bored.

Image: Paul Popper

Five months in I find myself well adjusted to my surroundings; I know my way around, I am used to driving on the wrong side of the road, I always remember to tip my servers and I never forget to mentally factor in tax before taking something to the cash register. So the natural next step is beginning a career right? Right. I am freshly graduated from a London University with a 2:1 BA (Hons), plenty of practical work experience under my belt and I am ready to rock and roll into the working world. Only thing is it's taking a little longer than I hoped (I'm an idealist) and while the days remain a little emptier than I would like, homesickness can often set it. Back in the day when I was employed as a summer camp counselor, we had a few little tricks up our sleeves to alleviate homesickness in the kids that we cared for. The main one, the tactic that next to always worked like a gem, was distraction. If you're not stewing about home and focusing on the real and psychological distance between you now and all you were comfortable with before, you won't miss it. So how did I distract myself continuously and effectively for 5 months? Well here's a few examples:
  • I have patiently reworked my hopeful CV (resume) more times than I can count. 
  • I have read many many books pertaining to the line of work I hope and pray I will land a kick butt job in, so my mind will be fresh and my understanding up-to-date, once the interviews roll around.
  • I watch a heck of a lot of documentaries (as well as the odd cheeky trash TV series!). I also favor a few televised reminders of back home, namely; Stephen Fry In America, An Idiot Abroad, Three Men Go To New England, Panorama (to keep abreast of all the breaking social issues in the UK that no longer apply to me, yet interest me just the same!) and many more that the internet and my friend's recommendations throw my way.
  • I started a stay-at-home hobby (or 5)... crocheting, blogging, creative writing, baking and amateur photography to name a few! 
  • I volunteer... Through my wonderfully active Church here in Knoxville http://faithpromise.org/ and other local charity organizations I can give a little back each week, brush up on my and teamwork and communication skills plus keep busy and motivated.
Ultimately, the things that get us through these times of change and stress are having the ability to adapt and to see the lighter side of life. Find peace with your choices, keep in touch with those you love and stay positive and creative! What an adventure we are on! 

Destination Wedding Do's & Don'ts...


When my now husband and I exchanged our vows on a secluded beach in Georgia, surrounded by aged driftwood and breathtakingly blue ocean, it's safe to say that we were pleased with our decision. It was an interesting journey though, planning, organizing and finalizing many details for our big day, far from the place where we would stand and face one other. Here's what we learnt:

DO seek out and trust personal recommendations. We attempted a few times to stray from the wise words of our wedding planner and each time we returned, tail between our legs and listened a little more closely to her opinion. When you are far from the wedding site and unable to interview people in person it's very easy to be landed with photographers, florists and hotel staff that refuse to place you as a priority despite the cash flow between you.

DON'T settle for less just because you don't know the area. Acclimate yourself as much as possible with the location and the nearby vendors. Seek out local and wedding forums, business directories and local articles written about their work wherever possible.

DO opt for outfits that are light and as close to wrinkle proof as possible. For the ladies; try to steer clear of too much beading and ordination as this weights the outfit down. Taffeta worked well as my fabric of choice, I had a small amount of steaming to do on the day but my Bridal Shop (Perfect Day Bridal, Malton, North Yorkshire) were beyond amazing. They professionally folded and packed my dress for free, ensuring that as it traveled across the world it would be ready to wear upon arrival. As far as fabrics go, dress made from silk and chiffon for instance, while lightweight, soft and easy to pack are fabrics well known to wrinkle at the drop of a hat. Be sure to have that hand steamer ready or plan to hire someone to do the deed for you when you reach your destination.

DON'T forget to check the tide schedule if you are planning on a beach wedding. Find the official website of the area and you should find all the information you need. At the very least it should refer you to a tourist phone line that can point you in the right direction. On the same note, make sure that there are no local festivals or events intended around the same few days of your ceremony... you don't want to be faced with set up or clean up issues from someone else's good time!

DO check the storm seasons for both the State and the area you are planning to visit. There are some great resources online (check the links below) that allow you to research weather and rainfall trends all across the USA.

DON'T forget to review the county's rules about glassware, candles, petals/confetti and public ceremonies before you book anything. If you use a wedding planner they should already we aware of the boundaries set in place but if you are keeping it simple with just a minister and want to have anything like the above mentioned, double check!

http://www.perfect-day-bridal.co.uk/

http://www.clrsearch.com/Jekyll_Island_Demographics/GA/Weather-Forecast-Temperature-Precipitation


Visa Applications... Frequently Asked Questions For You And Me! Part One...


  • What's my I-94? - This is the green card that is stapled into your passport upon landing in the States and during your venture through Security. However, if you're anything like me you already jumped on board with the new ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization) tourist visas and in doing so eradicated the need for a physical I-94. Now I can only speak from my own experience, but in this situation leaving the I-94 number question blank worked just fine and I was never requested more information regarding this issue. 
  • What's my A#? - This is your Alien Number, which recognizes you as, well, you! This is effectively your identification code within the USCIS system. I personally did not receive one until just before I was interviewed and ready to fly off to get married so don't panic if it doesn't arrive along with your NOA1! It can usually be found a the top of the page on NOA's and begins with the letter A (smart, huh?)
  • What's an NOA? - NOA stands for 'Notice Of Action'. As far as the K1 visa goes, you will receive NOA1 typically around 3-14 working days after your initial application of the I-129F packet (provided they don't need anymore evidence or other forms from you) and an NOA2 typically (for the UK) around 5 months after that, when you application has been accepted and is being moved to your local US Embassy ready for your interview. That's an exciting one! Always keep, copy and store all your NOA's as you will be asked to produce them at certain points in the immigration process!
  • What's an RFE? - An RFE is a 'Referral For Evidence'. This will arrive in the form of a letter from the USCIS much like an NOA and can require many different things. It should specify on the letter exactly what they want from you. 
  • Should I really keep copies of everything I send out? - Short answer; yes! The USCIS is a wonderful system that I refuse to knock since it has gotten me to where I needed to be in the end, BUT don't trust them with your lives! Things inevitably do go missing, yes even entire applications. Gather everything, have way too much evidence, make 2 copies of each form in case one blows away, do whatever it takes to be prepared and peaceful with this process. It is challenging at times especially when you are apart from your future spouse, but allow yourself to enjoy it when you can... you are getting so close to that new life together and this is an path not that many people get to tread! 
  • What happens if I have court records? Will this affect my application? - This really depends on the seriousness of the charge, time served etc. but I can shed just a little insight from personal experience. My one and only brief encounter with the law resulted in a minor misdemeanor citation here in the US, long before I met my husband-to-be. No I was not actually misbehaving, yes it was a misunderstanding. Put it this way; I was dressed as Dumbledore from Harry Potter at the time and working for the Girl Scouts... Does that shed sufficient light on my hardened criminal pastlife for you? Regardless of what actually transpired I was left with an expunged court record that never actually disappeared and was technically still floating around the US legal system at the time of my application. Here's what I did: called the municipal court where I was cited and clarified postal address and costs for certified copies of the expunged records (cost $1 per sheet for me), applied in writing for those copies (get 2 of each if you can), make your own copies and store for your records. Most importantly of all, always be honest from the get go. It can be so tempting to want to omit certain things, especially when they are already expunged or occurred a long time ago; truth is though, that unless you have hired a lawyer and paid to have it officially removed from all records it could still pop up and you hiding it will earn you no favors. Plus it is not as likely as you may fear for a record like this to be questioned! 
  • Once married, do I use my new married name on the Adjustment of Status forms for my Green Card? - Yes! This one is always tricky as everything up until that point including your passport, K1 stamp/insert and Social Security card (if you got one as soon as you made it to the States on your K1) will have your maiden name on it. Ladies, each time you are asked for your 'family name' on these AOS forms, if you legally changed it on your wedding day, then go by it now. There are a couple of questions to keep your eye out for where it asks your for 'other names' or 'maiden name', and that is where you declare your previous last name. Rest assured that when you combine your new name with your Alien Number etc. it's clear who you are! 
  • When should I get a Social Security card? - You can get one as early as the day after your arrival into the States on your K1 Fiance visa, or as late as after you are married, it's totally up to you! Bare in mind though that if you plan on changing your name once married, you will have to revisit the lovely social security offices to change that information on your card and a wait (around 2 weeks) is involved. As far as we immigrants go, Social Security cards allow us to do such things as apply for a drivers license (temporary!) and open bank accounts. 



If you have any specific questions, please do post them in the Comments section below and I'll be happy to answer what I can for you! 







Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Ultimate K1 Visa Packet Checklist!

Here's what you need to know to get that scary first packet ready! Just remember be as thorough as you can, never cut corners and label, label, label until it's perfectly fool proof! This checklist is a first had example of what my now husband and I submitted for our K1 Visa application and we were accepted and interviewed within 6 months... please only use this information as a resource though, trust me research is power when it comes to Visas!


Cover Letter - State who you both are (potential immigrant is beneficiary, US Citizen is petitioner), what you're applying for (we dove into the world of the K1 Fiance Visa) and provide a checklist of everything included in the packet! Make sure the petitioner signs and dates this.

Payment - Either money order or a check is acceptable for this. Word to the wise though, always check at www.uscis.gov the latest cost quotes for whatever visa you are applying for. They do change from time to time and whether you underpay or overpay, any wrong amount will result in a RFE (referral for evidence) and the delay of your forms entering the system.

Form I-129F 'Petition For Alien Fiance'... This needs to be filled out by the petitioner (the US citizen) but requires a bit of team work when it comes to fiance information.

Form G-325a 'Biographic Information'... This needs to be filled out by both the beneficiary (the one who isn't a US citizen) and the petitioner (the US citizen). You will also be asked for your a list of your places of residence and employment history within the last 5 years, so get thinking! A separate sheet is fine for these since they can get a bit lengthy, just make sure you are clear about what fits with what question and keep it all together in the packet.

Form G-1145 (optional) 'E-Notification of Application'... worth your time if you like to have updates through email/text as opposed to just snail mail, although like anything related to the USCIS don't rely on this to be right on time.

A formal explanation of how you met one another in the last 2 years. Again, be sure to sign and date this, petitioner! This links directly to question 18 on Form I-129F and so should be referenced as such. Two or three sentences will work just fine here.

A declaration from EACH of you stating that you do indeed intend on marrying this person and therefore are petitioning to do so! You should be clear with your intent to marry within 90 days of entering the USA on your (hopefully soon approved) K1 Visa. As with all things, sign and date.

One passport photo of the US Citizen and one of the foreign fiance... make sure that you write the full name of each person on the back of each in pencil. Then place each photo in it's own bag and label that bag 'photo of...', staple the bag if you can to a sheet of paper and place that behind or in front of each persons own G-325a (Biographic Information) form. Yes, it does need to be that complicated!

Copy of the US Citizen's birth certificate OR their naturalization certificate... this is simply to verify that you are in fact legally able to sponsor another person entering the States.

Copy of any Divorce or Death decree that adheres to any previous marriages for either person.

Proof of having met within the last 2 years... things that worked well for us were; printed color photos with names, location, event and dates on the back, hand written letters that had dated/stamped envelopes, engagement ring receipt, copies of engagement cards signed by clearly stated family figures i.e. Mum, Dad, Aunty June etc., flight ticket stubs/itinerary print outs, facebook email conversations, phone records, photos involving family members from both sides where possible and stated so. I also added in a few random items such as a receipt from a local Mac Store for the weekend we said we met, to prove that I was in town when I said I was. Little things like that...

My main advice is simplicity! If you can lay it all out and label it in a way that is actually fool proof, the chances that you will face a hold up or more information will be required from you (that could slow down processing) is definitely reduced. I actually have had more than one immigration officer thank me for taking the time to be so over organized and state what a pleasure it was to work with a file like ours! Happy filing!

living in the Tennessee