Logistics V's Romance... Where to marry when Visa's are involved!

Logistics V's Romance...?

When my now husband and I agreed to tie the knot, it wasn't long before we were hit with the reality of being citizens from different continents. Buying a ring, planning the proposal, sharing the news with family and friends and cracking on with the guest list were all wonderful moments in our courtship, but in many small ways they were overshadowed by the sheer logistics of our marriage being legal and us being on the same soil as a couple.

The (not so) simple task of researching venues, knocking out guest lists and chatting to vendors became a little more complex when faced with the challenge of deciding where we wanted to live (UK or USA?), how long we planned to live there for, who could afford to make the overseas trip for our big day and who would be left behind. Not to mention how on earth are we going to plan a big wedding 4,000 miles apart and in less than 10 months?! Phew! It was all a bit much to tell you the truth...

Back at the beginning we dreamt of $30,000 worth of 'special day' but as we began to realize who couldn't make it, who we couldn't afford to bring overseas and how far our budget really was going to be stretched by plane tickets, accommodations and family events we had to come back down to earth.

Where to Marry...?

Deciding we wanted to reside in the US for our foreseeable future (due to a more favorable job market, already owning a home, 2 cars and 2 pooches among other personal reasons) my traditional English wedding became far less accessible. Other than the cost of a big white wedding, England made no sense due to the immigration policies currently in place. My husband would have flown over to marry me after several months apart (due to his needing to be at work in the US and my tourist visa running out), stayed for a short local honeymoon and then returned to our home in America where he would have waited (and felt rather like rhubarb without the custard I imagine!) for around 2-5 months while all my paperwork was filed and I was interviewed...

Not the newlywed experience I initially envisioned, I have to say.

Working Around It...

So the big wedding celebration plans went on hold and we decided to romantically slip away to a beach Stateside, to exchange vows and legalize our union. It was beautiful and intimate and meant the world to use both. This way we got the dreaded 5 month wait out of the way prior to becoming spouses, plus we were both able to save a bit of money for the move and grow together as a team, facing the challenge of the long distance relationship.

Yes, I do in part regret the physical absence of our families... of course I do. But we made sure to include them in all our organizing; from choosing the dress/suit, to picking out the flowers. My half Skyped from England on the morning of the big day and laughter was shared over champagne.

Memories were still created and shared, husband and wife spent a long honeymoon and beyond together and the paperwork afterwards was minimal. Bliss.

The Working World... Being Heard Beyond the Accent

Several months into the daily grind of a new working world here in the USA, something odd seems to be happening. I find myself facing a slightly less obvious challenge than that of translating my UK qualifications or verifying my foreign references to potential employers... I am actually having to work harder than many of my co-workers at being taken seriously by our public clientele. This sad fact is so, simply because I have a strong accent, one not yet muted by several years residing across the big pond.

Now I understand that this is an odd dilemma, one of which many would think of as pointless to become frustrated over.  Granted, for the longest while I quite enjoyed the attention I reaped from not sounding like others around me, and the uniqueness people seemed to bestow on me simply because my life experience differentiated from there own.

Now however, as I attempt to carve out a professional path, lined with necessary public encounters and the need to communicate medical information of high importance, I am more often than not interrupted mid-spiel, in order to be quizzed about where I am originally from, what brought me to the States and "How do I like the weather here so far??"

I must say that 99% of the folks who ask me about my recent epic life change, have been genuinely interested and the conversation that ensued was for the most part pleasant (if not a little awkward on my part). But it is rather constant and there have certainly been those odd individuals who have proceeded with a beyond the boundaries of 'personal' interrogation, and quite frankly, haven't heard a word I've said during our professional encounter. Not a syllable. I have literally had to invite a fellow member of staff to step in and redeliver the information I was attempting to impart, in order to gain some semblance of control over the whole interaction!

So as the frustration continues and seeps more and more into my daily tasks, I begin to wonder how long it will be until I begin to submit my Yorkshire accent and good ol' British verbiage to that which is closer to the American way of conversing. Needless to say, I am hoping to fight the good fight and hold onto my heritage for as long as I can.

Here's to being different and striving to stay that way! Cheerio!